


M is for Missing

by betsybugaboo (orphan_account)



Series: Literally every fictional character lives here [2]
Category: Nursery Rhymes & Songs
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/betsybugaboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Tine has gone missing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	M is for Missing

“Yo, Chief, we just got a missing report! A Mr. Jeffery Tine came in this morning and filed a report that his wife, Dipper, disappeared yesterday.” Jack Hopper, head detective by virtue of being the only detective on the force, yelled down the hall to Chief Peter Gourd. Verseville’s crime rate was tiny enough that the police force consisted only of the two officers. The headquarters could certainly not be described as capacious.

“Pull the files on the both of them, see if there’s any reason the wife may have left. I’ll go ask the neighbors if they’ve seen anything.”

“Aw, do I have to stay and do the boring deskwork?” Jack remonstrated.

“Stop whining. Last time I allowed you to interview anyone, you harassed old Mrs. Hubbard even though she’s half blind and couldn’t half given you a good answer anyway. And because you need to finish your paperwork.” Peter proscribed, before stepping out and closing the door in the face of Jack’s whining.

***

After asking around, the only solid leads Peter could get was that Tine and his wife’s relationship was very strained and that the only person who might know where Dipper had gone would be her best friend, Miss Lassiette. He approached her house cautiously. Her porch was covered in various pottery pieces (Miss Lassiette’s avocation and profession was selling her wares to tourists) and dozens of wind chimes made of rusty spoons and metal scraps dangled overhead.

“Hello?” The Chief called through the screen door. There was no reply. Pushing the door open carefully, he stepped inside. The house was silent. It was obvious that Lassiette was unavailable to purvey information from. Peter’s phone rang, startling him in the oppressive quiet. “Police Chief Peter Gourd speaking.”

“Chief, I was looking in past files and reports, and there are multiple reports from neighbors of suspected abuse. Mrs. Tine denied each inquiry despite the hospital records, but I have a feeling that the hubby may have had more to do with her disappearance than he let on.”

“Interesting. It seems that Dipper’s friend is also gone.”

“You think maybe he killed his wife, and had to do in the best friend as well?”

“What have I told you about speculation? Get an arrest warrant from Judge Griggs and meet me at the Tines’ house in twenty minutes.”

***

Jeffery Tine was sitting in a cold metal chair in the interrogation room at the precinct, a picture of dissonance. He seemed heartbroken on the surface at the thought his wife had left him, but his spiky ‘do gave a wild feeling to him. He also seemed to exude an air of imperiousness and nerves.

“So, decided to off the ol’ ball and chain? You see, I’ve heard the rumors you abusive bastard. Tell me. What did you do to her?” Jack snarled. Peter resisted cuffing him on the head. He preferred to start the interrogations. “Jack, please back down. Now, Mr. Tine, can you tell me about your wife?

“Dipper was an amazing person. I have no clue why she would leave me. I’ll admit, there have been incidents in the past, but we love each other.’

“Suuuuuure.” Jack muttered, dubious of Tine’s claims. “Do you know and have you seen her friend, Miss Lassiette, lately?”

“They’re really close, but I haven’t seen her in a few days.”

“If that’s all you can tell us, Detective Hopper will take you to the holding cells. We’ll release you if we find evidence that you were not involved.”

***

With a search warrant in hand, the officers went to the Tines’ home. It was neatly organized, with a china hutch full of beautiful plates in the dining room and a neat kitchen. Jack found the computer and logged on. Hmm, password protected files? Jack ran through a list of ideas before getting past the virtual locks with the password ‘plate’. Inside was a series of time stamped pictures, evidence of Tine’s abuse, along with budget sheets showing that Tine had been embezzling from his company. Booyah.

***

Peter examined the china. One dish wasn’t dusty like the rest. Carefully, he opened the door and felt around in the bowl. There was something in it. He pulled out a letter.

> Jeffery: Screw you. By the time you find this, Platte and I will be long gone. I took what was left of my money. I know the police will find the evidence I left on the computer. I hope you rot in prison. Dipper

***

“Book him.”

“I didn’t do it! I was framed!” Mr. Tine, yelled, spittle flying as his face grew reddish-purple.

“Tell it to the judge.” Chief Gourd growled.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I got the plot from an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog where a character runs away to her lesbian lover from an abusive boyfriend. Yes, Lassiette and Dipper are involved if you didn’t catch that their motifs (dishes and spoons) were at each other’s houses and the whole running away together thing.


End file.
